Brenda Yap

1. You'd rather stay in than go out, or have friends over, rather than drive out to some crowded mall for dinner.
2. Weekends used to be spent wandering around shopping malls, but you prefer to stay in, cuddle and do house chores these days. It actually gives you a sense of accomplishment.
3. You can cook. Not just Maggi mee, but actual dishes. And you help your mother out in the kitchen.
4. You get excited about setting up a new bank account so you can manage your own finances and transactions.
5. You feel proud that you can treat your parents to meals, and not just using saved up money that they gave you, but money you earned with your own time and hard work.
6. You have a ton of bills to pay and to contribute towards - utilities, mobile phone, petrol... You don't want your parents to pay for that much anymore, because it's your own responsibility now. No more frantic calls to dad from the mall, asking Dad, can I please buy (insert item here) on the credit card please?; you just charge it to his card, but you pay him back the following month.
7. You meet your client(s) and have to stop yourself from calling them Aunty/Uncle, because they are now Mrs/Mr ___. You have to be professional, you're an employee now, not a student anymore!
8. When you first started work, you used to feel excited because it was a new phase in life, but now you dread the long hours. You have become one of those people who preach to others, Make sure you enjoy your student years, because it will probably be the best time of your life.
9. You go back to your primary/high school alma mater to watch a school production, and see your ex-teachers and they ask you when you are going to get married, and you can actually answer maybe soon, in fact, that's my boyfriend just over there and not get mocked. You also realize that some of those teachers have known you since you were a 6 year old crybaby. You actually feel incredibly nostalgic (I went to the same school for 11 years). (Btw, Cempaka School's Box Office Production this year, Beauty & the Beast was good! I was pleasantly surprised and impressed! Now why wasn't I that talented when I was a teen...?)
10. You've been in a relationship that has lasted over the duration of 2 World Cups already.
11. You met your boyfriend when you were still a teenager. (I was 16, he was 21; and now I'm going to be 23 this year (What?!!), and he'll be.. Well, you do the math.)
12. You constantly look back and wonder where ALL the years went and feel nostalgic about it. (Yeah yeah I know I'm not really that old though, but it does feel like time is flying way too fast for me to catch up with!)


Wow I really do love making lists. I could go on and on and on but for this blog's sake I should stop.

Had a check up today. It is the medication making me cranky woot! So I can be a bitch without actually being a bitch, if that makes any sense...? It was pretty funny; I spoke to my doctor about my mood swings, and also about the muscle cramps that I've been experiencing, and she said ok, that's good, now it's time to reduce your dosage lol. She also said it's a good sign that I've been gaining weight (although in my mind I was thinking FML I've gained like 5kgs since starting treatment, I've got a good mind to get off the medication. I kid, I kid.).

She also told me about some patients who would get incredibly impatient and pace up and down her office while waiting for their appointment, to the extent of scaring other patients also waiting. Good thing it's nowhere near that extreme with me, I don't think anyone would want to put up with me otherwise, let alone Wazir! :P

I don't want to be this grump anymore. Lately, I find myself blowing up at people (namely Wazir and my family) for no real reason; I get really agigated, only to realize 10 minutes later that it really wasn't a big deal, or that it was my fault anyway.

I wonder if it's the medication making me irritated, or if it's the built-up frustration of having to compromise to live with others again.

Or maybe I'm just a bitch, although I don't want to admit it.

I think birthdays are a fascinating thing. I may not be the girl who organizes the most extravagant birthday parties, or the one who is the life of the party (actually I'm the one who mostly has a quiet birthday with him and the family), but I do make an effort to be aware of when everyone's birthday is.

A week ago, I had to pick my sister up at the Bangsar LRT and I was early and she was a little late, so I ended up hanging around Bangsar Village, just waiting for time to pass. I have to admit that at first I was pretty pissed off but after a while I actually learned to value the time I had to myself; I mean, how often do I wander around on my own these days?

And I found myself wandering around the bookstore MPH, a shop that I used to roam around all the time when I was a teenager. Shopping? What did I care about that; all I wanted to do was swing by a bookstore. So I'm wondering around the store, looking for a book to purchase so that I can sit on a bench somewhere while waiting for my sister to arrive, and I find this compilation by Haruki Murakami called Birthday Stories.



So I get to the payment counter and the moment I hand over my credit card to pay for my purchase, my sister calls to say she has arrived. -.- FML I wasted so much time just picking out a book that I had no time to read it.

But I digress. The book is great. The short stories are perfect for someone like me who has a pretty short attention span, and I think all the stories are interesting in their own way. Some are just strange, some are morbid, some are lighter. It's not about how happy and fluffy and perfect birthdays are, but instead about the darkness and reality and how it differs from person to person. I haven't finished the book yet, but I have to say, I am definitely enjoying it. And this is the only other book I've actually read in years (apart from all of Sophie Kinsella's books) so that really says something!

Writing about birthdays has gotten me thinking; can I be 21 again pretty please?

Today, I received my first full paycheck ever, marking my first whole month of work, and being an adult. Sure I've worked before but it doesn't really count, since they were all part time work.

Work has been quite good, being a small company I get more responsibility and learn more on the job. But it also means less colleagues; I have 4 at the moment but 1 is leaving soon, and they all appear to be somewhat quiet people, although I reckon they are opening up a bit more to me. I wouldn't call myself a huge talker but in the office I think I am beginning to be known for that. -.- I guess I'll give it a bit more time.. ;)

Again, another backdated post I never got around to posting. -.- Shit I'm terrible at blogging.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered some bad news - I've been having pains for a year now and I always thought it was just me being unfit, but it turned out to be a bit more serious than that after all.

It basically started about a year ago in Melbourne when I complained of a rapid, pounding heartbeat and I was having a little bit of difficulty breathing every now and then. I mostly thought it was due to the stuffy stairwell at the house, and my housemates' smoking. But I did get it checked out by a doctor as advised by Wazir, and she did an ECG, thinking it was a heart problem, and although my heart rate was a bit fast, she said it seemed normal, and that was that.

Ever since I came back to Malaysia, I found that the palpitations were just getting worse, so I figured I would get it checked out one more time, and the moment my GP looked at me she said it was thyroid, and sure enough a blood test confirmed that. I was totally freaking out, like what the hell is thyroid anyway? How did my neck swell up for a year without me noticing it at all (I suppose I'm not that vain after all lol)? I saw a specialist next week and I'm currently on medication, although it hasn't been long enough for me to see effects yet.

But I feel pretty enlightened to know what it is finally, to get an answer to the uncomfortableness that I have been experiencing for so long. I get hot flashes all the time (sweat like mad also.. gross!), get headaches because my heart pounds so hard I can feel it everywhere, and have a bit of trouble sleeping at night.

And everyone has been incredibly supportive so I am very lucky indeed.

I miss Melbourne!

I've been home for more than a month now, and have since accomplished two of my resolutions for the year. I finished my portfolio a month ago, had an interview with an ex-lecturer of mine from Cenfad, and he offered me a job, which I will begin just after the CNY break.

A few of my favourite pictures from graduation:


Haidar's father was kind enough to take studio pictures for my family for free.. The pictures turned out great!


Shah and Haidar also took pictures for me. :)


Mel, Farah and I. 2+ years of friendship, hard work, stress, lunches and dinners. I miss you girlies!

Note: This is an old entry I never got around to posting, so I'm backdating it.

They say Malaysians complain a lot, but why wouldn't we when there is so much to complain about here?

Two days ago I went to Malaysian Cargo to pick up my shipment which I sent over from Melbourne last week. It took 3 bloody hours to pick everything up because of the inefficiency they showed us. First you go to one point and pick up an entry pass, then you have to enter the barricaded area, then pick up some documents, then get them verified, then pay the storage fees, then pick up the boxes, pick up a customs form, pay RM22.24 for some guy to enter the form details into the computer, then take the documents to some officer, then the boxes to customs for a check, then back to the previous officer so he can stamp them, then go to the first checkpoint to return the entry passes, then only could we leave. Imagine this, there were no other people picking up shipments and we were the only ones there, yet it took us 3 hours. How inefficient is that?

Yesterday I went for lunch with dad in KL, and after that we went to the public library for 2 minutes to enquire about library membership for my younger brother. I was wearing a skirt that fell about an inch above my knees and was told my the young lady at the counter, "Miss, next time you come here, please wear long pants." Now, look. I know that if I were working, or if I went to a government office, I would wear appropriate clothing, but this is a library. And a kids' library at that. It's not a big deal - I could wear long pants, but I don't think it is absolutely necessary to do so in this case. I don't think it concerns them what I wear, really. (Sidenote: also, do Malaysians not realize how HOT it is in this country? It is hot, humid and sticky - how do people wear long pants here??)

And above all, I've only been home for 4 days now and I can already see the display of biasness here - I see how Uncle Frank is treated nicely at service desks (because he's caucasian - sure it works to our advantage but how terrible is that?), and how people are extra friendly to Wazir (simply because he's Malay), but whenever I need to speak to someone about something they are less than helpful. Sure, I can send Wazir to run my errands and let him do all the speaking all the time but should I have to resort to that to get the service that I require?

Note: This is an old entry I never got around to posting, so I'm backdating it.

I'm home! Just got back a few hours before the new year.

Here are some of my resolutions this year:
1. Firstly, finish my portfolio within the next 1.5 weeks. A portfolio in design is a compilation of your work, which you would bring with you to an interview, to represent yourself and to explain your work.
2. To get a job. Be patient, humble, eager to learn. Expand my knowledge in design.
3. Be brave. Coming back to Malaysia is a whole new experience. I was very shy before, and when I went to Melbourne I had to be brave and do things on my own for myself, but now that I'm back it's difficult when people here are not as helpful and friendly. So I have to be brave and stand up for myself. Plus driving here is terrible! Have to have the courage to drive.