Brenda Yap

I've just changed the timestamp on this blog from Melbourne time to Malaysian time. For the longest time, I couldn't bring myself to change the time on all my watches and my blog. You can imagine what a hassle it was to tell the time, having to always deduct 2 hours!

Now that I've been home for close to 3 years, I feel more settled. Melbourne will always be dear to me but Malaysia is home.

So.. It's been a whopping TWO years since I've last posted, yet alone visited my own blog.

So much has happened/is happening lately, but the most major thing is that WAZIR AND I EFFING GOT MARRIED! After 8+ years, it's finally legal and official and I now have a husband. How grown up does that sound??

Funny thing is, in the last year or so, so so much has happened and I didn't document any of it in this blog. I do wish I had documented some of the planning process but frankly I was too busy - what with a full-time job and the venue/vendor research and the DIY. So I just thought that this would be a good time. We had 3 wedding events - nikah (solemnization/registration of marriage), and 2 receptions (1 tea ceremony & luncheon, and 1 garden party). All of which wouldn't be possible without the help of everyone who pitched in and helped to make our big day(s) happen.

It was all incredibly special and Wazir and I are eternally grateful. So many people flew in from different countries just for us and we are very lucky indeed; not only to have found each other but also to have such wonderful family and friends. Thank you again to all those who have been a part of it. Special thanks to our families who pitched in financially as well. We had so many DIY sessions, my mum and I made 400+ origami cranes, the cake was baked by my aunt, my friend Marlyn coordinated the wedding schedule... Most of my bridesmaids and some guests flew in from halfway around the world.. THANK YOU! ♥

Here's a couple of pictures as proof haha:


You can read a summary of our wedding here and here. One of my bridesmaids, Mae is the editor of WeddingGuideAsia and she featured our wedding. <3

Btw funny story; Wazir and I have been together for 8.5 years now, and for the first few years, since most of my friends were studying overseas, they didn't get the chance to meet Wazir. Plus he's never been active on facebook or any social media website. I did worry that they would start thinking he was imaginary! (But as you can see he's not)

1. You'd rather stay in than go out, or have friends over, rather than drive out to some crowded mall for dinner.
2. Weekends used to be spent wandering around shopping malls, but you prefer to stay in, cuddle and do house chores these days. It actually gives you a sense of accomplishment.
3. You can cook. Not just Maggi mee, but actual dishes. And you help your mother out in the kitchen.
4. You get excited about setting up a new bank account so you can manage your own finances and transactions.
5. You feel proud that you can treat your parents to meals, and not just using saved up money that they gave you, but money you earned with your own time and hard work.
6. You have a ton of bills to pay and to contribute towards - utilities, mobile phone, petrol... You don't want your parents to pay for that much anymore, because it's your own responsibility now. No more frantic calls to dad from the mall, asking Dad, can I please buy (insert item here) on the credit card please?; you just charge it to his card, but you pay him back the following month.
7. You meet your client(s) and have to stop yourself from calling them Aunty/Uncle, because they are now Mrs/Mr ___. You have to be professional, you're an employee now, not a student anymore!
8. When you first started work, you used to feel excited because it was a new phase in life, but now you dread the long hours. You have become one of those people who preach to others, Make sure you enjoy your student years, because it will probably be the best time of your life.
9. You go back to your primary/high school alma mater to watch a school production, and see your ex-teachers and they ask you when you are going to get married, and you can actually answer maybe soon, in fact, that's my boyfriend just over there and not get mocked. You also realize that some of those teachers have known you since you were a 6 year old crybaby. You actually feel incredibly nostalgic (I went to the same school for 11 years). (Btw, Cempaka School's Box Office Production this year, Beauty & the Beast was good! I was pleasantly surprised and impressed! Now why wasn't I that talented when I was a teen...?)
10. You've been in a relationship that has lasted over the duration of 2 World Cups already.
11. You met your boyfriend when you were still a teenager. (I was 16, he was 21; and now I'm going to be 23 this year (What?!!), and he'll be.. Well, you do the math.)
12. You constantly look back and wonder where ALL the years went and feel nostalgic about it. (Yeah yeah I know I'm not really that old though, but it does feel like time is flying way too fast for me to catch up with!)


Wow I really do love making lists. I could go on and on and on but for this blog's sake I should stop.

Had a check up today. It is the medication making me cranky woot! So I can be a bitch without actually being a bitch, if that makes any sense...? It was pretty funny; I spoke to my doctor about my mood swings, and also about the muscle cramps that I've been experiencing, and she said ok, that's good, now it's time to reduce your dosage lol. She also said it's a good sign that I've been gaining weight (although in my mind I was thinking FML I've gained like 5kgs since starting treatment, I've got a good mind to get off the medication. I kid, I kid.).

She also told me about some patients who would get incredibly impatient and pace up and down her office while waiting for their appointment, to the extent of scaring other patients also waiting. Good thing it's nowhere near that extreme with me, I don't think anyone would want to put up with me otherwise, let alone Wazir! :P

I don't want to be this grump anymore. Lately, I find myself blowing up at people (namely Wazir and my family) for no real reason; I get really agigated, only to realize 10 minutes later that it really wasn't a big deal, or that it was my fault anyway.

I wonder if it's the medication making me irritated, or if it's the built-up frustration of having to compromise to live with others again.

Or maybe I'm just a bitch, although I don't want to admit it.

I think birthdays are a fascinating thing. I may not be the girl who organizes the most extravagant birthday parties, or the one who is the life of the party (actually I'm the one who mostly has a quiet birthday with him and the family), but I do make an effort to be aware of when everyone's birthday is.

A week ago, I had to pick my sister up at the Bangsar LRT and I was early and she was a little late, so I ended up hanging around Bangsar Village, just waiting for time to pass. I have to admit that at first I was pretty pissed off but after a while I actually learned to value the time I had to myself; I mean, how often do I wander around on my own these days?

And I found myself wandering around the bookstore MPH, a shop that I used to roam around all the time when I was a teenager. Shopping? What did I care about that; all I wanted to do was swing by a bookstore. So I'm wondering around the store, looking for a book to purchase so that I can sit on a bench somewhere while waiting for my sister to arrive, and I find this compilation by Haruki Murakami called Birthday Stories.



So I get to the payment counter and the moment I hand over my credit card to pay for my purchase, my sister calls to say she has arrived. -.- FML I wasted so much time just picking out a book that I had no time to read it.

But I digress. The book is great. The short stories are perfect for someone like me who has a pretty short attention span, and I think all the stories are interesting in their own way. Some are just strange, some are morbid, some are lighter. It's not about how happy and fluffy and perfect birthdays are, but instead about the darkness and reality and how it differs from person to person. I haven't finished the book yet, but I have to say, I am definitely enjoying it. And this is the only other book I've actually read in years (apart from all of Sophie Kinsella's books) so that really says something!

Writing about birthdays has gotten me thinking; can I be 21 again pretty please?

Today, I received my first full paycheck ever, marking my first whole month of work, and being an adult. Sure I've worked before but it doesn't really count, since they were all part time work.

Work has been quite good, being a small company I get more responsibility and learn more on the job. But it also means less colleagues; I have 4 at the moment but 1 is leaving soon, and they all appear to be somewhat quiet people, although I reckon they are opening up a bit more to me. I wouldn't call myself a huge talker but in the office I think I am beginning to be known for that. -.- I guess I'll give it a bit more time.. ;)

Again, another backdated post I never got around to posting. -.- Shit I'm terrible at blogging.

A couple of weeks ago I discovered some bad news - I've been having pains for a year now and I always thought it was just me being unfit, but it turned out to be a bit more serious than that after all.

It basically started about a year ago in Melbourne when I complained of a rapid, pounding heartbeat and I was having a little bit of difficulty breathing every now and then. I mostly thought it was due to the stuffy stairwell at the house, and my housemates' smoking. But I did get it checked out by a doctor as advised by Wazir, and she did an ECG, thinking it was a heart problem, and although my heart rate was a bit fast, she said it seemed normal, and that was that.

Ever since I came back to Malaysia, I found that the palpitations were just getting worse, so I figured I would get it checked out one more time, and the moment my GP looked at me she said it was thyroid, and sure enough a blood test confirmed that. I was totally freaking out, like what the hell is thyroid anyway? How did my neck swell up for a year without me noticing it at all (I suppose I'm not that vain after all lol)? I saw a specialist next week and I'm currently on medication, although it hasn't been long enough for me to see effects yet.

But I feel pretty enlightened to know what it is finally, to get an answer to the uncomfortableness that I have been experiencing for so long. I get hot flashes all the time (sweat like mad also.. gross!), get headaches because my heart pounds so hard I can feel it everywhere, and have a bit of trouble sleeping at night.

And everyone has been incredibly supportive so I am very lucky indeed.

I miss Melbourne!

I've been home for more than a month now, and have since accomplished two of my resolutions for the year. I finished my portfolio a month ago, had an interview with an ex-lecturer of mine from Cenfad, and he offered me a job, which I will begin just after the CNY break.

A few of my favourite pictures from graduation:


Haidar's father was kind enough to take studio pictures for my family for free.. The pictures turned out great!


Shah and Haidar also took pictures for me. :)


Mel, Farah and I. 2+ years of friendship, hard work, stress, lunches and dinners. I miss you girlies!

Note: This is an old entry I never got around to posting, so I'm backdating it.

They say Malaysians complain a lot, but why wouldn't we when there is so much to complain about here?

Two days ago I went to Malaysian Cargo to pick up my shipment which I sent over from Melbourne last week. It took 3 bloody hours to pick everything up because of the inefficiency they showed us. First you go to one point and pick up an entry pass, then you have to enter the barricaded area, then pick up some documents, then get them verified, then pay the storage fees, then pick up the boxes, pick up a customs form, pay RM22.24 for some guy to enter the form details into the computer, then take the documents to some officer, then the boxes to customs for a check, then back to the previous officer so he can stamp them, then go to the first checkpoint to return the entry passes, then only could we leave. Imagine this, there were no other people picking up shipments and we were the only ones there, yet it took us 3 hours. How inefficient is that?

Yesterday I went for lunch with dad in KL, and after that we went to the public library for 2 minutes to enquire about library membership for my younger brother. I was wearing a skirt that fell about an inch above my knees and was told my the young lady at the counter, "Miss, next time you come here, please wear long pants." Now, look. I know that if I were working, or if I went to a government office, I would wear appropriate clothing, but this is a library. And a kids' library at that. It's not a big deal - I could wear long pants, but I don't think it is absolutely necessary to do so in this case. I don't think it concerns them what I wear, really. (Sidenote: also, do Malaysians not realize how HOT it is in this country? It is hot, humid and sticky - how do people wear long pants here??)

And above all, I've only been home for 4 days now and I can already see the display of biasness here - I see how Uncle Frank is treated nicely at service desks (because he's caucasian - sure it works to our advantage but how terrible is that?), and how people are extra friendly to Wazir (simply because he's Malay), but whenever I need to speak to someone about something they are less than helpful. Sure, I can send Wazir to run my errands and let him do all the speaking all the time but should I have to resort to that to get the service that I require?

Note: This is an old entry I never got around to posting, so I'm backdating it.

I'm home! Just got back a few hours before the new year.

Here are some of my resolutions this year:
1. Firstly, finish my portfolio within the next 1.5 weeks. A portfolio in design is a compilation of your work, which you would bring with you to an interview, to represent yourself and to explain your work.
2. To get a job. Be patient, humble, eager to learn. Expand my knowledge in design.
3. Be brave. Coming back to Malaysia is a whole new experience. I was very shy before, and when I went to Melbourne I had to be brave and do things on my own for myself, but now that I'm back it's difficult when people here are not as helpful and friendly. So I have to be brave and stand up for myself. Plus driving here is terrible! Have to have the courage to drive.

I don't know if it's something I've ever displayed here on my blog before but I have a penchant for making lists. Maybe there's a part of me that wants to be Rory Gilmore-esque haha.

With just a day til I leave Melbourne for good I am beginning to feel nostalgic so here so here's a pro con list of things I will and will not miss.

Things I will miss:
1. The city. After living here for 3 years I'm so sick of it but will miss it all the same.
2. Internet speeds. About 10 min or less to download a 40 minute tv show. Awesome.
3. Great public transport. Ridiculous rates but of course I will miss the convenience of the trams, trains and buses. (I've only ever taken a bus twice though)
4. Shopping -- Forever New (my absolute favourite shop), Sportsgirl, Dotti, Bardot, Country Road, Witchery etc. All too expensive but worth it during a sale. Oh and JB Hifi, EB Games... Oh and not to forget super convenient online shopping -- eBay and tons of other websites that ship to Australia for affordable prices. (well, affordable compared to Malaysia at least)
5. 4 real seasons. While I hate summer here, I will really really miss autumn, it was my favouritest season ever lol.
6. Independence. Granted I get a lot of this at home already, but here I have more 'me' time. Or 'me and Wazir' time haha. My family is very needy and clingy and merajuky but I guess that's what you get with mostly girls.

Things I will not miss:
1. Being homesick.
2. Hardly any free Internet anywhere, not even at starbucks or the airport.
3. The accents. Well, I will and won't miss it. I've come to understand it quite well after 3 years and have even picked up a few words myself, but gosh there are a ton of pretentious Asians aren't there? Geez. 1 year here and they're Aus-trai-lian.

Looks like there's more that I will miss. For now, goodbye Melbourne, thanks for the good times, I'll be back again sometime, I know it. I'll miss you!

I have graduated!!! And with honours that I somehow didn't even know about! Score.

More later, so busy - parents are here, just got back from the Great Ocean Road, been packing hectically, trying to sell off furniture, and jetting to Sydney in 2 days. Plus I've had my phone and internet access cancelled so getting online is quite difficult these days!

It's finally over -- my term at RMIT. After my presentations last week it still wasn't over yet because the graduate class had to put on an exhibition to show people our work, so for one week we slaved at the warehouse, cleaning, painting, building stud walls and partitions; to get the space ready.

Although tiring I really did think it was a fitting end to the semester. I got to work with my classmates, built timber stud walls, something I always learned about only in theory, and it's not like I had anything to do after the semester anyway.

Here's a few pictures from Index 09 (Interior Design Exhibiion 2009). I regret not staying longer to take more pictures (I only stayed about an hour), but it was hot and sweaty, and my cousin from Wellington had just arrived at the airport so we went to pick him up. Plus Brynna was getting bored.



Me and the girls - Mel and Farah, they arrived one semester after me but we get along so well. Loves. Don't know what I'm doing in this picture, I think I didn't anticipate the double flash.


Mel, Jono the Index chairman, and I.


Takako, Maisarah, Mel (another Mel hehe) and I. All such lovely girls. Mai and I were classmates way back from Cenfad.


Mel, me, Benji and Mai.


Me with my work. My panels were stuck on a plastic sheet which was hung on a beam. It made the work wrinkle quite a fair bit, but it was still quite a good location.

Oh and my friend just sent me this link yesterday, check it out.. http://blog.artsthread.com/?p=1059 My work is featured, all the way at the end.. :) I mean sure they featured about 1/3 of the class but it was still a really pleasant surprise. :) Thanks Artsthread.

Ps. I'm uploading this from my phone - hope the pictures turn out alright.

Brynna will be here in 1 hour! Looking forward to nice dinners, a clean house, sisterly talk and lots more.

I haven't written in a few days because I have been pretty overwhelmed.

Firstly, I finished my course last Thursday. The moment I finished my speech, and the critique and Q&A session ended, I felt a sense of relief, confusion, and exhiliration.

I had some good comments, and a few questionable ones too, but all in all I think it was good. But when I went home, and the more I thought about it, all I could remember were the questions I was asked and the little issues. But it's always like that, the more you think the more you syche yourself out of it. But anyhoo, I am so happy to be finished!!!! I have worked so hard towards this.

Not the best picture, but there's me, my long panel, and 4 out of the 7 people on the critique panel.

And Friday night I found myself chilling out with Mel and Shah, and some classmates phoned us to let us know they were at Seven, so Mel and I went there to meet them.

As jakun as this may sound, I have not been clubbing before. Seriously. But I guess it's because I know it's not really my thing, and Wazir and I got together when I was pretty young and he doesn't like clubbing so I somehow never went. Plus I reckon I spent too much time as a teenager at bars, ages ago. Wazir and I are very much antisocial homebodies here in Melbourne who love spending time with each other and close friends, lol.

Anyway. I did the stupidest thing. I don't even know how to phrase it so it doesn't sound stupid because it is absolutely dumb. Basically Mel and I took a cab to the club, and I left my passport in the cab. As usual, when I got out of the cab I checked my belongings. Phone, check. Purse, check. I peeped into the cab window to double check that nothing was left behind. Then he drove off. And I looked in my bag and thought... Passport.. Shit, where is my passport? It was in a black leather case so i totally missed it sitting on the back seat of the cab. And the ironic thing? They didn't even check for ID when I entered the club. They just stamped me and let me in. KNNCCB.

We didn't know the cab number, the driver's name, or even what cab company it was, so we phoned the 2 major cab companies in Melbourne, lodged a missing item report, and was given a reference number and was told to call back every half hour or so to check if any of the drivers had responded to the message that they sent out to every cab driver. And it seriously did not help that the club was so bloody packed and noisy, and we had to make the phone calls out at the smoking area which was loud and smelly. And damn Seven is such an Asian club! Now I'm not being racist because obviously I'm Asian myself, but it's just really overwhelming. I did not like it at all. And I was totally dazed and freaking out about my passport.

I stayed at the club for about an hour plus, I suppose there wasn't much to do but wait at this point, but after more than an hour I still couldn't get it off my mind, and since the cab companies had not heard anything back yet, I decided not to heed my friends' advise to get drunk, and I left the club, took another cab back to the city (and I made sure I didn't leave anything behind this time!), and my housemates and I went to the nearest 24 hour police station to make a report.

At this point I was freaking out because I had come home to check the immigration website and since there is not Malaysian Consulate in Melbourne, the nearest one is Canberra. And to make things worse, they only renew passports in Canberra, but they don't replace lost passports; instead they give you emergency travel papers to go home to Malaysia to get it done. But of course I don't want to go back to Malaysia now! I only have less than 2 months before I intend to go home!

So we made a missing item report at the police station, and I was told that as long as I had the report with me I was not an illegal immigrant lol. They said they would contact me if anyone turned my passport in. And by the way, I have to say, Australian police are incredibly helpful and friendly. It was 4am and the officer who helped me was so nice.

At 5.30am I was about to go to sleep but was still lying in bed tossing and turning thinking about how stupid I was.. So I phoned the cab companies again. The operator at Silvertop Cabs was so helpful, he even checked their records to pinpoint particular drivers and tried to contact them. But he said that he didn't think it was his company, because the routes were a little bit different from what I described. Still, he spent a good 20 or so minutes trying to help me out.

Then I phoned 13 Cabs, and I was soooooooooooooo relieved when she told me to hold, instead of the other times when other operators just said, nope, they hadn't gotten any response. Then she came back and informed me that the driver had turned my passport in at the Box Hill Police Station. She even went the extra mile to give me the address and search for the phone number. I don't think I have ever been so relieved and thankful in my life.

I find that I have this tendency to, pardon my French, fuck things up everytime I'm happy and I'm looking forward to something. This time, I was happy to finish my course, and my sister was going to arrive in Melbourne to visit in 6 days. And I lost my passport. 2 years ago, I was going home for my 3 month long summer break in 15 hours, and I managed to hurt my back doing something stupid (it's really stupid and embarrassing so I won't reveal it atm).

Anyway.... About 5 hours later I woke up and searched for directions to go to the police station and I discovered it was frickin far and would take me ages and I would probably get lost on the way, knowing myself and my terrible sense of direction. So I phoned Su Jin and Lohon and they drove me way out there and I got my passport back!! Thanks so much to the two of them. I don't know what I would have done otherwise.

So the moral of the story is.. Always check when you get out of a cab (seriously I've always known this and I did check but I still missed it. Damn tulan.), and the Australian police are very helpful, and so are the cab operators and drivers (this does vary though from person to person - I spoke to a few nice ones and a few ok ones).

Damn this is a long entry. Sorry, I just had so much to say.

Oh my god it's tomorrow!!! Less than 24 hours to go!! My heart is pounding just thinking about it. But I think I'm as ready as I'll ever be.

Wish me luck!!

Thursday is the day.. 40 minutes will decide if the work I have been doing all year has been worthwhile.. I have 20 minutes to talk, followed by a 20 minute critique/feedback session.

I've been working on my speech for the past few days, and it's a bit hard to speak for so long, but so far I think I can manage about 17-18 minutes and that's long enough la.

The presentations have been running from the 29th, and go til the 6th, on Friday. To be honest it's been a bit depressing getting calls from friends everyday telling me how relieved they are to be done with university, when I am still awaiting my turn, but it's ok, of course I am happy for them, and in just a few days I can join them. :)

Please wish me luck! I am so nervous but excited! But it's going to be great. It will. I am optimistic. Actually it comes in waves - one moment I'm anxious and nervous as hell, the next I'm calm and ready to get over it.

Happy 15th Birthday Brynna! I hope you had a great party over the weekend and enjoyed the gifts.


Love you lots and can't wait til you get here next week. Can't believe I have not seen you in 10.5 months! :) We are going to have so much fun. :)