Brenda Yap

I'm feeling rather confused about what I really want to do right now. Maybe it's just that time of the month, or maybe I'm just feeling discouraged, but the question is; do I really want to be an interior architect?

I do enjoy the work, but most times work is just work, to me, and it just gets me all stressed out. And in a field like design, everything is subjective -- I can't just study some textbook or do some exercises and that's it. There are so many steps to carry out when faced with a new ID project :: precedent studies, site analysis, concept, sketch models, plans, sections, elevations, perspectives, axonometrics, final model, details, materials, presentation board, etc. Materials are expensive too.

I've just come to a point where it's driving me mad. Working on my project is more of a hassle than anything, and I don't know where my passion has gone. My grades are average. Not great, not terrible, just average. Perhaps I'll get an A here and there, mostly Bs, and a few Cs too. But nothing is ever certain, and the grades I receive at the end of each semester are always unexpected. Well, most times I do worse than I thought I did. :/ Occassionally I'll do better.

Oh dear God. Why am I here? Did I make the right decision? I just need some confirmation, and some encouragement. I know I've written a lot about how busy I am and how stressed I am, but it's really building up and I'm just.. fed up with it now.

Okay. I just needed to get that out. Whatever it is, I have to finish what I've started.

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